Amnesia
by KTawesomoGIRL
Summary: Just days away from the wedding, Bella suffers from head trauma. As her love for Edward fades, another love grows without regrets. But, after a mysterious turn of events, Bella finds herself regretting more than just a lack of love.
1. Waking Up

**/-\ |\| --- The first thing you should know is that this is my very first fanfic. I've had a lot of help from KLN, so you can thank her by checking out her stories. Anyways, read on and I hope you like it. Please review it because I want to know if you have any ideas for what should happen next. I already have a plan, but if you have better ideas then those would be greatly appreciated!**

Bella POV

The first thought I had when woke up when that my head hurt. No, that's an understatement; the pain was agonizing. I could barely think; it felt like somebody had thrown my head in a trash compactor. All of thoughts were distorted and twisted into a single word: Ow.

I opened my eyes. The room I was in seemed different from the one in Phoenix, the bed unfamiliar. As I rolled onto my side, pain stabbed my head; I groaned.

"She's awake," said a soothing, male voice I had not heard before.

"Oh, thank God. Bella!" said another strange voice, this one filled with panic and care. "Bella, love, how do you feel?"

I knew I should recognize him, but I didn't. He seemed like he should be important to me, but he wasn't. This boy, who looked around seventeen, was a complete stranger to me. He had unusually beautiful, bronze hair and eyes that looked like liquid topaz. The words he spoke sounded like music as they flowed so perfectly past his full lips. In other words, he was a living, breathing god.

"Who are you?" I said with intimate curiosity and wonder. But the minute the words came out of my mouth, I regretted ever saying them. His worried face turned to one of despair; he looked I had broke his heart.

"What are you saying, Bella?" He sounded hurt as well.

"I'm saying that I have no idea who you are."

"Bella, don't do this to me. Tell me you know who I am," he demanded fiercely.

"I'm sorry, but I can't." Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Even his melodious voice made my head throb harder than it already was.

"Bella…" he whispered. "Please… If this is a joke-"

"It's not," I interrupted.

The boy closed his eyes; he looked like he was about to fall apart on the spot. Slowly, he stood up. Then he walked out of the room. I heard his footsteps continue down the hallway until an anguished cry drowned them out.

"Edward…" said the first male voice. I saw a blond man run out of the room and call, "Edward!"

Alone in the room, I guiltily took a look around the room. As I moved, my bed, or more likely my cot, squeaked, increasing my headache. The walls, unlike in my bedroom, were white. There were no posters on the wall, but there were several chairs in a line by the door. There was a sink protruding from a section of the wall covered by white tile, along with a soap dispenser and a towel dispenser. There was an empty table by my bed and in an open cabinet across the room sat a television. Yeah, this definitely was not my room.

I turned my attention to the muffled voice coming from outside the door. I heard the blond man trying to calm the boy, Edward I think. After a minute of silence, I heard him walk down the hall and saw him appear in the doorway with a grave face.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"That was Edward. Obviously, you don't remember him; we're not sure what you remember. Bella, if you can, tell me your most recent memory."

My most recent memory… what could that be? I think it was the Christmas of 2004. I remember sitting around the tree with my mother, Renee, and her husband, Phil. I remember opening the last present, a pair of earrings. Renee had said she spent hours searching for the perfect pair, eloquent but plain. I remembered how pleased she looked when I said how much I liked them, how her eyes lit up with delight.

Or maybe it was the time I was sitting out in the desert during the sunset. The tall, saguaro cactus loomed above me and I sat between the tumbleweeds. The sun had turned to a bright red hue and was halfway beneath the horizon. It was a reflective time; I had the entire desert to myself. I remember that time as being an end to something, but to what?

And then it came. "The last memory I have is boarding a plane. I forget where I was going though."

"Strange," he said. "Do you know how old you were when you boarded the plane?"

"Seventeen."

"And do you remember anything of your recent life in Forks?"

"Recent life?" I asked, surprised. "I haven't been to Forks since I was fourteen."

**/-\ |\|--- There you go. Again, please tell me what you liked and what you didn't; ideas for further chapters will also be appreciated. Thanks and TTFN! :)**


	2. Getting Jacob

APOV

_This is insane_, I thought. I was driving to the border of La Push to get information of the whereabouts of missing person who hated me. No one had seen Jacob Black in over a month and now I was supposed to find him. Finding Jacob Black, that was my mission.

As I arrived at the border, Sam, the alpha of the werewolf pack, was waiting for me.

"Seth noticed you coming while he was on patrol," he said. "What do you need?"

"I need to know if you have any evidence on where Jacob is," I said.

"Actually," he laughed, "we do. He's at home."

"Home? I thought he was somewhere Canada."

"He was," explained Sam, "but he came back. He was going to come to Bella's reception… What happened to her?"

This was convenient. Too convenient. There has to be catch. "Can I have permission to see him?"

"No." Oh. The catch.

"Sam," I said. "This is urgent. We're running out of time."

"What's going on?"

"It's Bella. Jacob is the only person she'll listen to right now. Please, Sam."

"No," he said stubbornly. "I'm sorry, Alice, but the treaty is the law."

I sighed. Why did he have to be so difficult? "If you're sorry then you would-"

"No. Nice try, but no."

"Can you at least bring him here to me?" I looked up into his eyes, trying my best to look stunningly in innocent and helpless. Innocent and helpless… that's a good one.

"Fine," he surrendered, and sped off down the road. I watched phase and run out of my sight into the dense forests of La Push. I wondered how Edward was doing, how he was taking the entire situation. How long would it be before he lost his mind? I couldn't tell; no decisions had been set in stone quite yet.

I sighed, bored of leaning against my car in the wilderness. I hate waiting; I never did have the patience.

Thankfully, Jacob raced up the road within the next five seconds.

"Hey," he said, "it's the psychic!"

"Come with me," I said, not bothering to properly greet him.

"Hello to you to," he said sarcastically.

"I'm serious, Jacob. Please get in the car."

"You sound like you're trying to abduct me!" he exclaimed. Jacob seemed to be in difficult mood. Lovely.

"Don't mess with me, wolf. And don't underestimate me. Just because I'm short-"

"What's going on, Alice?" he said, turning suddenly into a more serious mood. "Is it-"

"Bella? Yes."

"I thought you couldn't see my future," he remarked.

"I can't. You're just predictable."

He sighed and looked up at me with a worried face. "What happened to Bella?"

"She lost her memory."

"She WHAT?" he shouted. "She _lost_ her _memory_?"

"You heard me. She doesn't remember any of us. Not me, not Emmett, or Rose or Jasper, not even Edward. I think- I think she broke his heart," I added. But as sad as Jacob's face was, I could tell not a smidge of that remorse was in any way directed toward Edward and his loss.

"Not even me?" he squeaked.

"That's the thing, Jacob. You're the only person she would remember. She knew you before she moved to Forks, and she doesn't remember anything after that."

"Well where do I come in?" he demanded. "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Just talk to her or something. She won't believe anything Carlisle tells her about the past one and a half years of her life. She thinks she's still seventeen. Carlisle thinks she'll listen to you because she knows who you are."

"Alright, alright, I get it. Just drop me off at the hospital and I'll take it from there."

"Thanks, Jacob," I said.

"Don't mention it, psychic," he replied in his usual tone he used towards vampires: the hostile one.

As I drove down the winding road that would take me back to Forks, I quickly scanned Jacob's outfit; there wasn't much to scan, as he only wore shorts. He could at least wear designer shorts if those were the clothes he wore. Imagine that, only wearing shorts. I decided that if werewolves and vampires ever stopped feuding, I would take him shopping for some decent clothes.

"Alice?" he asked, surprisingly using my birth name instead of one of his 'nicknames.'

"What?"

"How _did_ Bella lose her memory?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You should know."

I saw him grimace as he realized that the accident was his fault. Even though he was a self-centered mitch, I felt the teensiest bit sorry for the poor guy. He loved Bella, too, but he could never have her.

As we arrived at the hospital, I parked in the parking lot and walked in with Jacob instead of just dropping him off like he requested. While groaning about how I had made his life that much more difficult, we walked through the doors of the large building and into the entrance hall.

"Hello, how may I help you?" asked the receptionist.

"We're here to visit Bella Swan," I replied. "Carlisle sent for us."

"Carlisle?" she asked with astonished eyes. "You mean… Dr. Cullen?" So he had a fan club? Interesting…

"Yes, Dr. Cullen. I'm one of his foster children."

"And I'm Jacob!" said Jacob.

The receptionist glanced his way but paid no more attention to him than that. "Did _Dr. Cullen_ send for him, too?" she giggled. It really bugged me when people got all crazy for Carlisle. At first, it was funny, but then it got old.

"Yes," I said in an annoyed tone. "_Dr. Cullen_ sent for him, too."

She giggled again. "Who were you looking for, again?"

"Bella Swan."

"Room 209. Second floor, third door on the left."

I walked off, too annoyed with the receptionist to linger. On the elevator, there was a married couple who kept giving me looks of horror. Finally, I realized that they thought I, a seventeen year old, was _dating_ Jacob, who looked around the age of twenty-six. Ha! Jacob… my boyfriend… as if.

Following me as I stepped out of the elevator, Jacob and I walked down the hallway to Bella's room.

"I have to go," I said. "Can I trust you here? Alone? With Bella?"

"No, Alice," I said. "I'm going to eat her." I rolled my eyes at him. Sure, he looked ten years old than he really was, but he what he had in age he lacked in maturity. "Later psyc," he said.

"Later, pup." Or not, hopefully. Jacob could be so annoying. "And remember," I added. Though she doesn't remember it, Edward is still her boyfriend. So don't get any ideas." And with that, I turned around and walked down the hallway, wondering what exactly I had just done.


	3. Edward and I?

Finally, after three monotonous days, I was out of the hospital. Out of the plain, boring room that made me feel like a recluse. I had finally accepted the truth about my life, about how I was living in Forks, how I was in love, and how I was getting married. But now, I didn't want to be in love with- what was his name? Eddy? Edmund? Edward?

I flopped down onto my bed. Finally, peace and quiet. For the past three hours, I had listened to Jacob tell me about my life I didn't remember living. About how I was madly in love with Edward and about how I had become horribly depressed when said boyfriend moved to Alaska. He told me about the times he and I used to motorcycle together and about how he had promised to take me cliff diving one day.

"Cliff diving? Like jumping off a cliff into the ocean?" I remember asking.

"Yeah. It's pretty cool; I've done it once," replied Jacob.

"Jacob, tell me. Did I ever love anyone besides Edward?" I asked after a pause.

He looked up and into my eyes. "No," he finally said. "No you didn't."

Then things got weird. He told me he had to go, and just like that, he left. No good byes, just an, "I have to go." Did he love me? Did I maybe love him back? I wonder…

_Knock-knock!_ My door slowly opened, and in came the boy whom I saw when I first awoke. "Bella? Bella, it's me, Edward."

"Hi, Edward," I said. Just let me sleep for crying out loud!

"I wanted to apologize for my actions on Tuesday. It was just hard to grasp that you didn't know who I was. We were supposed to get married that day, Bella. I'm sorry." I looked into his liquid topaz eyes. He looked so sad; I knew that he meant those last two words with all his heart and that he wasn't just sorry for his behavior, he was sorry for everything. Did he have something to do with the accident?

"That's okay," I said. I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"You look beautiful today," he said while walking over to my bed. "Bella," he started, with the same sincerity, "Do you still want to get married?"

"Well, it's just, I hardly know you right now. I don't think you would understand. It's like, first I'm boarding a plane, and then I wake up in a hospital being told that I'm supposed to be getting married that day. I feel like someone has lived my life for me and now I'm back regretting everything that person did."

"You regret falling in love with me?" he asked. He sounded genuinely hurt.

"Maybe I didn't say that right. What I'm trying to say is, well, what kind of person gets engaged before she graduates?"

"You're mother," he replied.

"Oh. Well. Um. Well, look at her now. She married someone years younger than he and left my dad heartbroken!"

"Are you breaking the engagement?" he asked with the same pain as before.

"No, I wouldn't do that to you. I'll still wear the ring," I relented. He took my hand and kissed it. My eyes widened in shock; he felt like ice.

"Why are you so cold?" I asked.

I caught him off his guard. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said. "Bella, will you come to my house? You can meet my family… again."

"Sure, why not?"

He took my hand and led me into the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door. "Wait a minute," I called running back into the house. Pulling out a pen and notepad from a drawer in the kitchen, I wrote Charlie a note telling him where I would be. Running back outside, I noticed two cars in the driveway. One of them was a black Mercedes and the other a silver Volvo. Seeing Edward opening the passenger seat door of the Volvo, I thanked him and climbed inside. "Nice car," I said.

"Thanks, yours isn't half bad either."

"Are you suggesting that the Mercedes is mine?" I asked skeptically.

"I'm not suggesting it. It was my early wedding present to you."

"Nu-uh. No way. That must cost you a fortune! I can't accept that." He smiled and pulled out of my driveway. I decided to strike up a conversation with him about us. Us. "Us_"_ was a new word to me. Never before had I been associated with the word "us" in the way I was now.

"So how did we meet?" I asked.

He seemed to think about before answering. "We met in a lot of places."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I first saw you in the cafeteria in school. You looked stunning from day one, and I didn't know what to make of you. Then, you got in a car accident. Well, you almost did. I stop- I pushed you out of the way, which unfortunately caused you to crack your head on the ice. Then, later that day, we met in the hospital and had a conversation there. But, I think the place we really met was the meadow."

"The meadow?"

"I'll show you one day. Maybe tomorrow?" he suggested. "My house is just up this road."

"You live kind of far away from everything," I observed. "It's very isolated. You guys like to keep to yourselves?"

"You could say that." Edward parked his car in the driveway and took me inside his house. It was immaculate; one entire wall was made of glass and the house had a completely modern design. The ground floor consisted of a spacious area with couches, a big screen TV, and a dining table with eight chairs. The man I recognized as the doctor from the hospital was sitting Like Edward, he was inhumanly beautiful and had the same liquid topaz eyes.

"Hello, Bella," he said. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," I said politely. I was about to say something else when a short, spiky haired girl ran down the stairs.

"Bella!" she said. "I missed you! It's really too bad about the wedding. So are you really not going to have it?"

I was astonished. Who was this girl and how did she know? I made that decision all of twenty minutes ago. "How do you know I postponed the wedding?"

"I- I-" she stammered.

"Alice," said Edward testily, "Bella, why don't you come with me."

I followed him up a stair case and down a hallway. Through an open door, I saw another ivory white face staring at me with curiosity and… hatred. Her topaz eyes pierced into my chocolate brown ones with such unadulterated loathing that I wondered what kind of person I was before the accident. What did I do to make her hate me so bad?

When we entered his room, the first I noticed was that there was no bed. The soft, thick, gold carpet felt wonderful against my shoeless feet. Against the wall were hundreds of CDs in their cases and a stereo.

"I like music," he explained.

"I can tell. Who was that back there? She looked… murderous."

"Oh, that was Rosalie."

"And why did she look like she wanted to kill me?"

He thought about it for a second. "Rosalie… doesn't like you."

"I noticed. Why? And what about Alice? How did she-"

"Bella, you left a lot of things behind when you fell."

"Edward, what did happen?"

He turned toward the window that made up an entire wall of his room.

"Edward?" I asked.

Suddenly, the sun appeared behind the never-ending wall of clouds. The golden rays lit up the room and reflected off of the many CD cases. The sunset glowed in all different colors: red, orange, pink, yellow…

And then I noticed Edward. He was standing there in the sunlight, inhumanly motionless and… sparkling. He was sparkling! His pure white skin was twinkling like a star in the night sky. He looked like he had been covered in white glitter glue!

"Edward!" I said in shock.

He glanced up at me. "What?"

"Your- your skin. It's… glowing. It's sparkling."

He looked down. His eyes grew wide as he realized his mistake. Stepping out of the light, he said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Step back into the sunlight."

Conveniently, the sun went behind another cloud. He smiled a half smile at me. "Right on cue," he remarked.

"Edward what was that? You were sparkling. Normal people don't sparkle," I said. He couldn't avoid me this time.

"Let's just say I'm not normal."

"Then what are you, Edward. What are you? You're inhumanly cold. You sparkle. As sexy as that is, it's not normal!"

He stared at me like he was dying, like my words were ripping him apart from the inside out. He opened his mouth and then closed it again.

"It's getting late," I said. "I should be getting home."

We drove in silence, he looking like he was being stabbed with a white hot knife and me sitting there feeling mad. Why can't people just tell me the truth?


	4. Motorcycles

**BPOV**

The next day, all I could think of was how frustrated I was with everything. With Edward, with secrets, and with lies. Something was up and I was going to find out what.

Quickly, I pulled out my cell phone and scrolled down until I found Jacob's number. "Bella!" he said cheerfully. "What's up?"

"Something's up with Edward," I said.

"Guy troubles? I'm afraid I can't-"

"Jacob," I said urgently. "In all seriousness, I need to see you in person."

"Alright, how about I pick you up in fifteen minutes?"

"Hurry," I said and hung up.

Soon enough, he was in my driveway and I rushed out into his car. "Oh, my God! Jacob, something is wrong with Edward. He's fast."

Jacob quizzically raised his eyebrows. "Did you just call your boyfriend a slut?"

"No, Jacob! I'm being serious. One minute he's in the driver and I blink and he's opening my door for me."

"Is that all?" he chuckled.

"No. He's ice cold. And: he sparkles."

Jacob burst out laughing. I tried to slap him, but when I did, it was like hitting iron; it stung.

"Well your no help," I pouted.

"I'm sorry; I'm just not familiar with sparkly-boyfriend-itis. Maybe you should ask Dr. Cullen."

"Very funny."

He laughed. "So, you're not doing anything important today, right?"

"No, why?"

"The correct answer was yes, smart one, because you're hanging out with me all day."

I laughed. "If you insist…"

"I do. We used to have such times together, Bells. Like, we would go motorcycling and stuff like that."

"Motorcycles? I'm in."

"Knew that'd get you," he teased. "Well, we're almost at La Push. You know about La Push, right?"

"It's not like I'm stupid, of course I do." After a pause, I sighed. "It's really pretty here," I remarked. In truth, it reminded me of a car commercial. You know the ones with the nice, shiny car driving through a perfect forest?

"Yeah, I know. Living here's fun," he said.

After about five minutes, Jacob pulled into his driveway and insisted on me speaking to his father for some reason.

"Good to see you again, Bella," he said.

"Good to see you too, Billy."

"Still seeing that Edward boy?" he asked on a more serious note.

"Yeah, sort of. I mean, the engagement was called off, but he's still my boyfriend," I explained.

"Ah," he replied, and I could have sworn that I saw him share a glance with Jacob and mouth the words _for now_.

"Alright, well Bella," said Jacob, "follow me."

We went back out through his front door and into the open garage. Where I car should have been, I saw two motorcycles in almost perfect condition. "This one's yours," he said while pointing to the closer one. I mounted it, but then realized that I had no idea how to ride it.

"Uh, Jacob?" I asked, hoping he would realize my predicament. "As far as I'm concerned, I've never ridden a motorcycle before."

"Right!" he said, and quickly explained it to me. "Just follow my lead," he said, and sped off. I mounted and cautiously backed out of the garage. Hoping I wouldn't kill myself, I drove off after Jacob. It was exhilarating to ride so fast in the open air. I could taste the cold air on my tongue as I pulled next to Jacob. Together we cruised down the winding road that led into Forks.

"Some ride, hey?" he said while dismounting his bike. We had parked on the side of the street what appeared to be an old book store. "So are you hungry?"

"Starved," I replied. But instead of going to a diner or some other restaurant, we headed towards an ice cream parlor. While I only ordered a coke and one scoop of plain chocolate, Jacob got a strawberry smoothie and three scoops of ice cream: one mint chocolate chip, one rocky road, and one bubblegum complete with chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles.

"You're gonna eat all that?" I asked in a disgusted but somewhat amazed voice.

"S'why I or'er ih " he said while trying to swallow a huge mouthful.

"That is gross, Jake," I said.

He swallowed. "But you still love me, don'cha, Bells?"

"Always," I said, rolling my eyes. "Let's go ride to the beach," I suggested.

"Let me finish! Gosh…"

Of course, it only took him two minutes to finish three scoops of ice cream. Pretty soon, we were on the road driving back to La Push. Though I had now ridden a motorcycle once before, the effect of the trees blurring past me in a whirlwind of forest green. Suddenly, Jacob made a sharp turn and I was pulled back from the beauty of the ride. I saw him park his bike behind a tree and wave at me to signal his position. Parking next to him, I got and we walked towards the ocean.

"This is amazing," I gasped. "This almost as beautiful as the sunset over dessert."

"What does that look like?" he asked.

"A lot like this but with cacti and more sand."

He laughed and sat down, pulling me with him. He gently took hand and squeezed it ever so slightly. I looked up into his eyes. "Jacob?" I asked. "Are you sure I never loved anyone besides Edward?"

He stared into my eyes for a long time before answering. "No."

My heart began to beat so fast that I could have sworn he could here it. I rested my head on his lap. Somehow from that position, he ended up on his side next to me with one his legs curving in between mine. His left hand was on my right shoulder; he was almost on top of me.

"Are we alone?" I asked shakily.

"Completely," he replied and leaned in to kiss me.

Just then, my phone rang and scared us both; I pulled it out of my pants pocket and answered it. "Charlie!" I exclaimed, shakily.

"Am I interrupting anything? You sound… busy." Oh, God, what did he think I was doing?

"No, just hold on one second," I said, and covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "Jacob, get off me! You can come back later, though," I said suggestively. He chuckled.

I went back to talking with Charlie. "No, dad, everything's alright."

"O.K. It's getting late though, and I want you to come home, alright?"

"Now?"

"Yes, now. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, dad," I said and hung up. "I have to go, Jake."

"Can I come back later then?"

I laughed. "Of course, I'll be waiting. Call me tomorrow."

"See you."

And with that, I mounted my motorcycle and rode home.

**JPOV**

As I watched her, I realized how much I really did love her. I also realized how much she really didn't love Edward. Finally, I had a chance to what I've wanted ever since Edward and his family moved to Alaska and left Bella heartbroken. So now, there was only one thing to do.

As I rode back to my house, I figured that if I phased and ran, I could probably reach Bella's place in about fifteen minutes, just when she was pulling into her driveway. I had a feeling that Edward was going to be there, just what I needed.

After pulling into the garage and parking the bike, I took off my clothes and ran my goddamn heart out to Bella's house. Funnily enough, I passed her when she was two minutes from her house. I must be getting fast.

I hid in the bushes beside her driveway and made sure. Thirty seconds later, Edward pulled up his car and got out. I noticed him sniff the air as he leaned against the side of his expensive, shiny Volvo. He must know I'm here.

Luckily enough, Bella pulled into her driveway about ten seconds later, before Edward had any time to investigate.

"Bella," he said as she got out of the car.

"Edward? What are you doing here?" she replied.

"Where have you been all day?" he demanded.

"I was with Jake. Why?"

"You were motorcycling with Jake? That's how you suffered from head trauma in the first place! Bella are you trying to kill me?"

"Trying to kill _you_? You?" She sounded horrified and I didn't blame her. "You get mad at me for motorcycling because you think I'm hurting _you_? I don't believe you, Edward."

Edward's face looked pained, like he was sliced into a billion little pieces. "Please, Bella. I don't want to loose you again."

She stared into his eyes with disgust. "Maybe you should loose me!" And with that, she stormed inside. Despite myself, I chucked ever so slightly. After Bella went inside, I prowled out from behind the bush.

"Jacob?" said Edward. "What are you doing here?"

_What are _you_ doing here?_ I thought.

"I'm looking out for Bella, something you should try as well."

_She's not a kid, Edward._

"Jacob, Bella is the only girl I will ever love. It's like how you imprint on people. Bella is my other half. How can I not act like this?"

_Is she really, Edward?_ I asked, sarcastically. I played back the images from earlier today. I showed us about to kiss on the beach, our lips so close they were almost touching. How my leg was wrapped around hers and how I was almost on top of her. I showed her head in my lap, her facial expression happier than I had seen her in a long time.

As my wolf-like smile increased in size, his eyes widened and he gasped in horror. "You didn't…"

_I did. Just face it, Edward: I win._

I think I killed him. His facial expression became numb, like Bella was after Edward left. He closed his eyes and went back to his car. I waited five minutes, but he didn't go away. Finally, I got bored and ran off. After all, my work here was done.


	5. Unexpected

I really don't know how it happened. It was completely unexpected. And in some ways, uncalled for. Well, it depends who you're talking to.

"Bella," I remember Charlie calling. "Phone for you."

"I ran downstairs and took the phone from Charlie. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bells," said a familiar and heartwarming voice. "It's Jake. How you feeling?"

"Pretty good, thanks. Hey, Charlie's gonna be leaving for Seattle in a couple minutes and he won't be back until later tomorrow. Wanna come over?"

"Sure. Well, if your boyfriend's O.K. with it," he added sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be like that, I hardly know the guy… anymore."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what _all_ amnesiacs say nowadays," he joked.

I laughed. "Funny. Well, come over in about fifteen minutes, alright?"

"Alright. See ya, Bells." Before waiting for me to say good-bye, he hung up.

"Who was that?" asked Charlie.

"Just Jake."

"He's a good guy," remarked Charlie. "Much better than Edward."

"Oh, dad," I groaned. Even though I didn't like Edward anymore, I didn't want Charlie to interfere with my love life.

"Seriously, Bella. Anyways, it's time for me to go. I will see you tomorrow around five, O.K.?"

"Alright, dad. Love you."

"Love you, too," he replied, and headed out the door. I went up to my room and turned on a CD until Jacob came. It wasn't very good, but I only listened to the first few songs before the doorbell rang.

"Jake!" I said. "Come on in."

He smiled at me. It was so strange, how old he looked but how young he really was. "Hey, Bells. God, do you look better than the last time I saw you. 'Course, the last I saw you, you had recently suffered from head trauma."

I laughed. "So what do you want to do?"

"Well, I brought this movie that's so stupid it's funny. It's, like, a horror movie."

"Jake, you know how I get when I see blood…"

"Oh, my god, Bella! I'm sorry, I completely forgot. We can see what's on TV,"

"Thanks, Jake."

"And as repayment you will make me popcorn."

"Fine," I said, pretending to be mad.

As I made the popcorn, Jacob lounged on the couch flipping through the channels on our old TV. "Geez, how long does that stuff take to make?" he complained.

"A while, apparently."

But it didn't that long; before we knew it, we were sitting on the couch watching TV. I leaned against Jacob, whose body temperature, instead of being unnaturally cold like Edward's, was extremely hot. But I didn't mind; it felt so much more satisfying to lean against Jacob and have him put his arm around me than Edward. It seemed as though I had this strange pull towards Jacob. It wasn't chemistry, but something like it. Whatever it was, I knew that I loved him. In the half an hour I had spent with Jacob, I had realized that I loved him.

I snuggled deeper into him and his warm body. "Bella," he said, "this isn't right. You have a boyfriend. You know, Edward. Remember him?"

"Yeah, I do. But frankly, I don't care. Jake, I think I'm in love with you."

Leaning against his chest, I felt his heartbeat speed up. "You know strange thing, Bella? I love you, too. I always have."

And then, somehow, from me leaning on him and him lounging back, we were kissing. Intensely. Suddenly, I wasn't just leaning on him; I was on top of him, kissing him with him kissing back. His hands were all over me, in my hair, on my chest, up and down my back, and mine were doing the same. I felt his hands take of my shirt and unclasp my bra, and I pulled of his shirt. Somewhere in that process, I remembered that I had only really met Jacob twice, this being the second time, but I didn't care, I loved him so much.

Forty-seven minutes later, we stopped kissing. We had rolled off the couch and now were both lying on the floor half-naked, and feeling just a little self-conscious, I slipped on my bra. "We never did get around to eating that popcorn, did we?"

"Nope," he chuckled. "Well I had a better time doing what we did rather than watching some retarded sitcom and eating junk food. What time is it, anyways?"

"About nine o'clock."

"Holy shit, how long were we at it?"

"At what?" I asked, deviously. "You think that's something, just wait."

"Feeling feisty are we?" he teased. But it was true. Never before had anyone physically drawn in the kind of sexual appeal that I had for Jacob. In truth, it was exhilarating. I was excited. But, if you had just spent the last forty-seven minutes kissing someone and rolling around on the floor, you'd be excited as well.

"So, what's next?" asked Jacob.

"I can think of several things we could do next," I said suggestively. And with that, Jacob swept me off my feet and carried me upstairs to do them.

Upstairs, Jacob tore off his shorts, the only thing he was wearing (not even underwear), jumped onto the bed, and landed in a very sexy pose. I pulled off my clothes like the actresses do in all the movie with a lot of sex and pounced on top of Jacob. He immediately rolld on top of me and grinned devilishly. "What about a condum?" he asked through breathes, as we were very preoccupied.

"We won't need one until at least next week," I said and pressed my mouth to his. And through the night, we continued in this hot, sweaty, yet somehow blissful pleasure until we both drifted to sleep in each other's arms.

The next morning, I woke up completely naked in bed with Jacob. He wasn't on top of me anymore, merely on my right side with his arms wrapped around me. As I snuggled in closer to his bare chest, I noticed how warm he was.

"Bella, you're awake," he said happily.

"It's true. How long were we at it last night?"

"All night practically. It's noon right now."

I sighed happily. "You know what's weird? You're so huge-"

He burst out laughing. "I'm so what?

"Not like that. I mean, how tall are you? Six and a half feet?"

"About," he laughed.

"See? You're so huge and I'm so little."

"Like a lion and a lamb," he joked. "The lion fell in love with the lamb."

I sighed again. The lion and the lamb, how poetic. The phrase actually seemed vaguely familiar, but from where? And then I remembered. I remembered everything.

It came in flashbacks, a million of them at once. A scene of James attempting to kill me in my old dance studio, a scene of camping out in a tent waiting to attack Victoria and her newborn vampire army, a scene of me riding my motorcycle just to hear Edward's voice, and a scene of me lying devastated on the undergrowth of the forest after he left me… they just kept coming; my whole life flashed before my eyes. And this only made me wonder one thing: What was I doing in bed with Jacob, a werewolf, while Edward, a vampire, was my one true love?

**AN: So. To all of you people who thought I could never write about anything worse than a little kiss on the cheek, I shall gloat. HA! :D TTFN! please review!!**


	6. Deja Vu

As soon as Jacob left, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I fell on the floor with that discussing taste in my mouth and cried. For half an hour, all I could do was cry. Jacob and I had sex and now I didn't even love. What kind of person was I turning in to?

When I finally felt well enough to stand up, I went into my bedroom to change my sheets. I mean, the last thing I needed was Charlie walking into my room and noticing my dirty sheets and realizing I that had I sex with someone while he was away.

I sighed; I was horrified with the way I things were going. Just when I was happy and in love without a care, I got my memory back. I couldn't believe the irony of the situation! The crazy thing was, I wasn't in love with Jacob anymore; all that devotion had gone straight to Edward. Edward! The last this had happened, he had gone straight to the Volturi, which only meant that I had so much time before it happened again.

I picked up my cell phone and dialed Edward's number, but there was no answer. Oh, God.

I dialed another number and was more fortunate this time. "Bella?" asked Alice in a surprised voice.

"Alice!" I said, relieved. "Alice, I got my memory back. Where's Edward? He's not answering his phone."

"Bella he's- he's-"

"Alice! Where is he?"

"Bella, he's… gone."

"Alice, don't do this to me!" My heart started to pound and my head began to throb.

"Bella, he thinks you don't love him anymore."

"But he's wrong! He's all wrong! I love him so much, more than anything in the world."

"That's not what he thinks."

"Where is he, Alice? Just tell me!" I was almost screaming into the phone I was so nervous.

In a quiet voice she replied, "He went to Italy."

My hand started to tremble and I dropped the phone. It broke into several pieces when it hit the floor, but I didn't care. Edward, now and forever the one I loved, was committing suicide because he thought I didn't love him. Everything was spinning around me; I could hardly breathe. Suddenly, I saw the ground rise up to meet my face and a whooshing sound in my ears; everything went back.

When I woke up, Alice was sitting on a chair by my head staring into my eyes. She had moved me onto the couch and had a worried look on her face.

"Bella!" she said upon realizing that I was wake. "We have to go now before it's too late." She sounded more scared than the last time this happened. "Are you ok?"

"I don't care. Get in my car; we're going to the airport."

"Are you suggesting we use a Mercedes when we have a Porsche on our hands? I don't think so."

"What about a passport and boarding pass?" I asked as everything suddenly became more focused.

"I gathered all that while you were unconscious."

"What about Charlie?"

"As long as you don't mind an extremely angry father, we're good to go. I left him a note."

We immediately headed out the door and into her car. Alice slammed her foot down onto the pedal as the accelerated out of my driveway and down the street.

"Alice," I croaked, almost unable to speak. "Someone's gonna give us a ticket."

"It's a fine or your love, Bella. You choose."

I sighed. Normally I would care about getting in trouble, about things like tickets and fines, but not now. The only thing that mattered to me right now was getting to Edward before the Volturi did.

As the minutes ticked by, I began to worry if we would get there in time. And if we didn't… no. I wasn't going to think about that.

As we boarded our plane to New York, I was extremely thankful that there was an airport this close to home; we wouldn't have made it if we had to drive to Seattle. While we waited for the plane to take off, I slowly, I drifted to sleep and began to dream. An image of Edward burning in the middle of a circle of hooded figures appeared in my mind. A high pitched cackle came from a shorter member and I recognized it to belong to Jane. I saw Caius's face flicker in the firelight and Aro sadly shaking his head, mumbling about he was a good vampire. Behind the Volturi, I saw Carlisle and Esme staring down into their burning foster child, to sad to cry if they had had the ability to do so. As the Volturi left, Alice kneeled by Edward's ashes, shaking as though she were sobbing. Jasper crouched beside her and held her hand. Behind them, Rosalie was crying into Emmett's shoulder; Emmett embraced her and took a deep breath.

Suddenly, I screamed. NO! He couldn't die!

Awoken by my scream, I was fully conscious and noticed every person on the plane staring in my general direction.

"Bella?" asked Alice in a worried voice. "Bella, what is it?"

"I'm just so worried. How much longer is it until we get to New York?"

"About an hour, you slept a while. What were you doing up so late last night?"

The correct answer would be who was I doing, but I decided not to point that out. Luckily, a flight attendant had come over to see what the problem was. "Anything the matter?"

"No, ma'am, just a bad dream," I said.

"Alright, if you say so. Can I get you anything to drink? Eat?"

"No, thanks, I'm not hungry."

As the

"Reading," I finally decided on saying. Hopefully my lie wasn't too blatant.

Unfortunately, Alice could see right through me. "If that's what you say…" she said skeptically.

"I'm hungry. Did they already serve the food?"

"You just said you weren't."

"I lied."

"Right, I saved you a little something. I hope you like peanuts."

"Peanuts are fine, Alice, thanks so much."

She smiled and pulled a shiny plastic bag out of her purse and handed it to me. I immediately opened it and ravenously devoured each and every peanut.

"I have more if you'd like-"

"Yes! Yes please."

Alice took out two more bags and handed them to me. "On the next flight, we can get you some real food," she said as I wolfed down the rest of the peanuts.

Two and a half hours later, I was flying over the Atlantic Ocean and eating a turkey sandwich. Alice sat beside me with her tray down and was reading a book. "Alice?" I asked.

She looked up. "Yes?"

"Alice, how did I hit my head? Edward said it was a motorcycle accident but…"

"You don't remember?"

"Not really…"

"Hmm, I'll have to inform Carlisle of that."

"What he said is only remotely true; you were riding a motorcycle when it happened. However, the accident wasn't caused by the actual bike."

"Then what did cause it?"

"Paul."

"Paul?" I was shocked. So that's why nobody could tell me the truth; it was werewolf related. "What about Paul?"

"It all started when Jacob came back from Canada. It was Edward's present to you, seeing Jacob again, but I guess he couldn't stay away. Anyways, he came over to your house and took you motorcycling for the day until your bachelorette party. While driving, he came across Paul, who quickly became angry when he found that you came back and told Bella before his own brothers, and he phased."

"But how I did I get hurt and not Jacob?"

"I'm getting to it. So Paul phased and attacked Jacob. Then you, being the noble saint you are, tried to get him to stop and he hit you, throwing you into a rock."

"Oh. Ow…"

"Yeah."

Just then, a flight attendant appeared by our row. "Are you finished with you food?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied; she took my sandwich and tossed it into a garbage bag, then walked away. I shut the window and leaned against it, trying to fall asleep.

"Here, Bella," said Alice, as she handed me her IPod. "It'll help you fall asleep."

I took it and put the band called Muse on shuffle; they were pretty good. Slowly I fell asleep, but only to be greeted by another bad dream. This time, I was standing in the Volturi's palace and Jane was with me. I was lying on the floor, writhing in pain; my shield had broken and I was now vulnerable to Jane's powers. I was almost dead; I was seconds away from breathing my last breath, screaming my last scream, when the dream changed. Suddenly, it was Edward on the floor, screaming in pain. But instead of a smiling, sadistic Jane looming above him, it was me. I was wrapped around Jacob in a way that would not have been appropriate for the Cullens to see. Suddenly, the perspective changed; I was seeing through Bella's eyes instead of merely viewing the scene. "Bella, Bella," said Alice, and I felt like I was being shook. Was Jacob shaking me? "Bella," said Alice, louder. She was staring into my eyes with a pleading expression on her face. "Bella!" she shouted, and I woke up.

"Bella!" She looked frightened. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Edward… He died. The Volturi were there. And then you all came and… Oh, Alice!" I cried, and began to sob on her shoulder.

She sighed and smiled sympathetically. "It'll be ok. We'll get there in time."

"Do you _see_ us getting there in time?" I whimpered.

She paused before taking a deep breath. "No, I don't."

I moaned in agony. "Is that it then? Is it all over?"

"No, it's not all over. Edward has made a decision to die, so I see him dying. But, when we get there-"

"If we get there," I interrupted.

"No, Bella, _when_ we get there, he will change his mind, thus forth the future will change, making my visions change. We can do this. Just have a little faith."

I gulped. "'Kay, Alice," I croaked. "'Ow come you don't seem worried?"

She sighed again. "I am worried, Bella. More than you know. But if I show that I don't believe we'll get there in time, you'll be hopeless."

"Do you believe it won't happen?!" I almost shrieked. I was close to hysterics.

"No, Bella. I have perfect faith that Edward will not die from this. Now, I think that you should distract yourself. How about you watch a movie?"

I shrugged. "Sure, I guess."

"Just, Bella? What ever you do, don't fall asleep."


	7. A Lost Cause

Through all my agony, I still found the heart to marvel at the scenery as I stepped off the plane. The sky was an eloquent azure color that was a deep contrast with the dark beige and orange hues of the city that loomed behind the airport. I scanned the horizon for any clues of where either Volturi's lair or Edward might be, but I found none. As we entered the airport, I thought of something else.

"Alice?" I asked with a barely audible voice.

Yes?" she replied in a slightly more vivacious tone.

"Where is he going to be?"

"Huh?"

"Where will Edward be? We're looking for a needle in a haystack."

"Oh, yeah," she replied. "Well, I can check his surroundings in the vision, but I'm pretty sure that he is located near the Volturi."

_Pretty sure isn't good enough, _I thought. But of course, I would never tell Alice that. That would make her angry, and the last thing I need is an angry Alice.

I nervously looked around. The airport ceiling was tall with huge glass windows taking the place of portions of the walls, much like Edward's house. Like his room. So much between us had happened in the room. His room was the last place I saw him before he left. Before I cheated.

"Maybe we should go to the place we found him last time he came here."

"I don't know," she said. "I guess it's worth a try."

I sighed and turned on my cell phone to see if anybody had called me. I had two missed calls: one from Jacob and one from Charlie. Charlie. Jacob. Both deserve an explanation; neither would get the truth.

"Are we stealing a car again?" I asked.

"Do we have time to buy one?" she retorted. "Stay there." At vampire speed, she ran into the rental car lot and climbed into a yellow Porsche. Before anyone noticed, she sped the car out of the lot and pulled next to me. Grinning, she said, "Climb in."

I rolled my eyes. You could have picked something a _little_ less inconspicuous, couldn't you?"

"Nope," she said.

The second I closed my door, she slammed her foot down on the pedal and zoomed down the highway. While I was immediately pressed against my seat by the force of her speed, Alice was sitting as straight as she would if the car was not moving in the first place. Turning towards the window, I felt as if I was going to throw up.

"Hang in there, Bella," she said. "It'll be ok."

I crossed my arms and sank down lower into my chair. As much as I tried, I could not keep the tears away. I felt the first warm drop slide down my face, then another and another. I could tell that Alice was pretending not to notice and I was grateful for that. Right now, I just needed to be alone, or with Edward. Preferably the latter.

"Check on him!" I suddenly burst out!

Alice jumped. "Bella," she said, annoyed. "Calm down! I will tie you to your chair if you do not calm down."

I jumped in my seat as she snapped at me and my seat belt burned my collarbone. I tried to laugh at her threat but what came out was only a whimper.

Suddenly, after about a minute of complete silence, I had a thought. "Alice!" I shouted.

"Bella!" she yelled just the tiniest but louder. "Calm the hell down!"

I could see the anger in her darkened topaz glare. "That's not what I meant."

Alice relaxed slightly and looked at me in a somewhat less intimidating way. "Then what is it?" she asked while driving as if her eyes were glued to the road.

"You're driving 60 miles an hour. That'd be great if we were on a highway, but we're on a crowded road. And our car isn't exactly inconspicuous."

She turned back to the road. "Again, it's a fine or your love."

I crossed my arms and stared ahead. We were speeding down the ancient streets of Volturra until the large square near the clock tower came into view. Alice pushed the gas pedal down even further until we made a rough stop at the outskirts of the plaza. People around us were looked shocked that a bright yellow Porsche just screeched into the square and stepped back quickly into a distorted half circle.

"Now what?" I asked.

"This is all up to you," she said quickly. "I take it there's no plan?"

"Plan?"

"What are you going to do? I can't get out of the car in this light; I'll get killed."

My eyes grew wide. I'd have to be bold. I started to hyperventilate until Alice interrupted me.

"Bella! Stay calm. When Edward realizes what you did to get him back, he'll so appreciative. Maybe he'll even-"

"We do not need to discuss Edward's various appreciation-showing methods." Although my outward appearance stayed the same, my insides turned somersaults when I mentioned his name. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and stepped out. "This is for you, Edward," I muttered, feeling the strange sensation the name gave me.

As I walked towards the crowd, people began to shout. "What do you think you doing?" they cried in various accents. They looked angry, but I had to confront them.

"_Que pensez-vous que vous faites, vous stupide-tête_?" a French man in a black bowler hat shouted into my face. "_Vous ne pouvez pas bombarder en place d'une rage sauvage avec un permis de conduire licsense!_"

I stumbled, trying to remember the little French I knew. "Uh, je ne speaké pas French?"

I looked down to see a young girl tug on the man's long trench coat. "Papa," she said, her blonde curls bouncing, "La dame ne parle pas français!"

I quickly walked away from the man.

"Excuse me!" I shouted, attempting to get a small portion of the crowd's attention. "Has anybody seen a tall, pale man with bronze hair?" I asked, still at the same volume. "Anybody?" Nobody answered. Stumped, I thought about what to say next. _Oh!_ I thought. Quickly I added, "He may or may not sparkle!"

With that, a group of girls about my age perked up. "I've seen a man like that," one of them said in a British accent.

"Is he possibly gorgeous beyond compare?" another asked with a laugh.

"That's him!" I exclaimed, not feeling myself. I felt out of character, if that's possible to feel. "Where did he go?"

"Down that alleyway," said the first girl, pointing towards an all too familiar lane, one where I had always dreaded and dreamed about in only my nightmares.

My heart dropped what felt like a hundred miles and my head began to swim. "Down there?" I croaked.

"Yeah, but that was hours ago. I haven't seen him since."

I managed to thank them and then hopelessly trudged back to the car. I opened the door and stared at Alice with the saddest face I had ever worn. Her eyes grew large as she asked me what I heard.

"Some girls saw him go to Volturi. But he never came back."

Silence. We simply sat there, attempting to comprehend what I had just heard.

"Try and see him in a vision," I suggested.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, maybe ten or fifteen, but then opened them up again in despair.

"Bella!" she said in anguish. "Bella, I- I can't!"

"Does this mean-" I tried to say, but my voice cracked.

Through what could have been tears if vampires could cry, Alice nodded her head. I moaned in agony as I sobbed into her shoulder. Edward was gone, gone, gone! No more lullabies, no more meadow, no more anything. Just an empty, broken heart.

Both plane rides home were completely silent. In the air, the two of just sat their in complete sadness while the world around us moved on as if it had not even been scratched. But, in the lives of Alice and me, there was more than merely a dent. There was complete portion of our happiness that had been wrenched out of placed all because of me.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I really am. This is all my fault."

Alice took a deep breath. "No it's not. It's not your fault that you suffered from amnesia; that was a cause of a noble act; you were trying to prevent Jacob from harm. It's not your fault that you lost your love for Edward. Not everything can be blamed on others, Bella. Just remember that."

As Alice finished speaking, she pulled up into my driveway. "I think you should get some sleep," she advised. "You've had a rough week."

A week? Only that long? It seemed like years since I last Edward last held me in his arms. I nodded at Alice. Without a word, I climbed out her car and walked into my house. In the entry way stood Charlie, purple with rage. Despite his apparent wish for an explanation, I pushed him and said, "I'm eighteen, Dad. I can make my own decisions."

Dumbstruck, he faltered for a moment and his fade turned to a normal color. As I walked upstairs, I could hear him talking, his voice slowly fading. "B-Bella, you disappeared for three and a half days without an explanation. I have a right to be…"

And then I slammed the door. I feel the floor in tears for I had nothing else to do. The center of my universe was gone because of me. For hours I laid there, just crying my heart out until the tears would no longer come. Then I fell asleep.

When I finally came to my senses, it was six o'clock, the sun low in the sky. Charlie must have lifted me onto my bed because I distinctly remembered falling asleep on the floor. I could smell the aroma of dinner wafting into my room, but I wasn't hungry.

At that moment, something caught my eye. The sun was reflecting off an object, a silver object. My cars keys. That got me thinking.

I robotically jumped out of bed and grabbed my keys. Running downstairs, I ignored the calls from Charlie and made my way out to my car. I was on a mission.

I climbed into the black, shiny car that Edward had bought me and sped off as fast I could go. Making a beeline for La Push, I opened the window to let the cool, fresh air circulate. I wasn't feeling myself; I threw back my head and laughed. After all that crying, all I could do was laugh.

I checked the speedometer; I was going a hundred and five miles per hour. Not fast enough.

Too delirious to notice how beautiful the trees looked in the sunset, I drove on, speeding as I went. In the distance, I saw cliff I once dove off so long ago. It seemed like centuries.

At a hundred and twenty-five miles per hour, I drove off that very same cliff into the sparkling ocean below.


	8. Barely There

EPOV

The sky was blue and cloudless as I climbed into my car. I pulled the hood of my navy sweatshirt from my head and removed my sunglasses. Sticking them in my glove compartment, I drove out of the airport parking lot. If I drove fast enough, it would take a matter or minutes until Bella was in my arms once more.

I smiled to myself; I was ecstatic. I felt so alive, so happy, that I laughed. However, my smile soon faded when a conspicuous, yellow Porsche drove up next to me.

I pulled over and the other car followed suit. We both opened our doors and Alice came over to me. Emmett and Jasper, both in their respective cars, pulled up behind us and joined Alice.

"Alice?" I asked. "What is it?"

"It- It's B-Bella," she stuttered. "E-Edward…"

My eyes grew wide in horror as I read her thoughts and saw her vision of Bella, driving a off a cliff.

"Why?" I demanded in a poisonous voice.

"She thinks your dead."

I moaned. "How much time do we have?"

"Two minutes until she drives off the cliff," replied Alice in a horrified yet monotone voice.

"Where's the cliff?" asked Jasper.

"It's the same one she went off last time. But, Edward, we're not allowed in La Push," she cried.

"I don't care. I know she is, and that's where I'm going. Alice, get Carlisle. You two," I said, pointing to Emmett and Jasper, "follow me."

With that, I sped off as fast as I could go. I heard Emmett and Jasper following me about ten feet behind. Running through the evergreen forest, I made a beeline for the cliff. I had no time to observe the setting; I could only run.

When the forest ended, the cliff was in sight, as well as a black, expensive Mercedes zooming off the edge.

"BELLA!" I shouted. Jasper and Emmett appeared beside me as I sunk to my knees.

"Jasper," I heard Emmett say. "We have to save her."

"How?"

"What'd you mean, how?" he demanded. "We get her out of the damn car, that's how."

I looked up to see my brothers drive off the cliff after her. I walked to the edge, thinking they would not be quick enough. A minute later, their heads appeared above the surface and my heart dropped.

"She won't come!" shouted Jasper. "She wants you!"

"You're a vampire! Can't you pull a human to the surface?" I was outraged, but dove in beside them. As I fell through the air, the cool wind whipped my face.

BPOV

In front of me was an endless sea. The darkened azure of the water reflected the bright, yellow-orange light of the setting sun. The radiant colors of the sky ranged from dazzling yellows and oranges, crimson reds, and even dark purples on the outskirts of the horizon, close to the edges of my windshield. In the three seconds I fell, hours passed. I had so much time to think but so little thoughts. But soon, I would be with Edward again, happy and carefree.

Behind the car, I heard a familiar voice screaming, "Bella!" It sounded like Edward! But no, this is what happened last time I did something dangerous. I was merely hearing voices

And then, time began again. In less than a second, my black, shiny car crashed into the water that was once so peaceful. As it sunk, water quickly began to flow in through the closed doors and windows I had opened prior to driving off the cliff. In a matter of seconds, the water was up to my ankles, then a minute later, my knees. Strangely, I just sat there with my buckled seatbelt, looking around and out the waterfall of a window. I acted oblivious to the fact that I was going to drown, that I my life would end in merely a few minutes. My ears were popping under the water pressure, but I didn't care.

Suddenly, as the water lapped at my welcoming chin, I felt the car jolt. An ivory-white hand appeared in the window, then two, then four. A familiar blond head popped up from below the window. Beside Jasper, Emmett's head followed suit. I took a deep breath. They opened the door and my head was completely submerged; I couldn't breathe. I didn't panic, this was what I wanted. I wanted to die; why couldn't they realize that?

As they tried to pull me up, I struggled in vain. The two vampires had greater strength than I would ever gain. However, after they noticed my attempts to stay underwater, they let go. Jasper looked at Emmett and the two of them swam to the surface, leaving me to fall happily to the bottom of the ocean.

Then, something miraculous happened. As I was almost out air, a figure appeared above me. As I watched the godlike man swim towards me, I thought I must have been hallucinating. _No,_ I thought, _This can't be!_ Because before my eyes, I saw Edward, perfectly alive and well, coming to save me.

Our hands touched and clasped each other. With a strong tug, he pulled up into his arms, where I passed out.

EPOV

As I clutched the unconscious Bella close to me, I kicked myself to the surface. I could barely feel my love's heartbeat and I knew this was the end.

"Jasper! Emmett!" I gasped. "She's not breathing!"

"Bring her over to that beach!" Emmett shouted, pointing out a small strip of sand below the cliff a ways away.

I moved Bella to a position that would keep her head above water as I swam to the beach. Three minutes later, I positioned Bella on the beach with the waves barely lapping her feet.

"I don't feel a pulse!" exclaimed Emmett, who had kneeled down beside me.

"No, it's there," I said. "But it won't keep her alive long, it's not strong enough."

"Is she breathing?" asked Jasper.

"Hardly," said Emmett.

I pushed down on her chest in an attempt to give her CPR. 1, 2, 3, I counted as I pressed. I put my mouth to hers and breathed. I had never had to give anyone mouth to mouth. Why hadn't I learned?

After several attempts to revive her, she was still barely breathing. "Edward," Jasper said quietly, "Carlisle isn't going to get here fast enough."

I looked at him. "Yes, he will. That's our last hope."

Emmett shook his head. "Jasper's right," he agreed. "Edward, I think…"

I glared at him. "You think what? Carlisle is our last hope! If he doesn't come, Bella won't make it."

"Not exactly, Edward. There's one more thing you can do."

With horror, I realized what he was saying. "No!" I shouted. "We might as well just leave her!"

"This will have to happen anyways, you promised her. Do it now, Edward," pleaded Jasper.

I took a deep breathe. I couldn't do it but I had to. I held her wrist close to my mouth. "Is there any other way?"

"No," said Emmett. "Do it or I will." With that, he grabbed her other wrist. "Five."

"Emmett, please…" I begged.

"Four."

"Oh, Bella…"

"Three."

I gently kissed her wrist. I wanted an alternative with all my heart.

"Two."

"Emmett," said Jasper. "Maybe you should-"

"One."

Relentlessly, he pulled Bella's wrist to his mouth.

"No!" I shouted, and lunged at Emmett. He snarled at me.

"Do it, Jasper!" he shouted. "Bite her wrist!"

"I can't, it's not my decision," said Jasper. He closed his eyes and appeared to be deep in thought.

Emmett, who I had pinned down and was sitting on top of, managed to punch me in the face and roll out from under me. He punched me again; this time in the chest, then kicked me. Jasper was guarding Bella from Emmett, and was still attempting to calm him down. As Emmett kicked me once again, I fell to the ground beside Bella. I lay still for a second, and then, gathering my bearings, felt her pulse. It was fainter this time but still there. I sat up and moved her head onto my lap. Stroking her wet, sandy hair, I watched as Emmett and Jasper argued with each other.

"What was that?" Jasper yelled.

"She's dying and he won't save her! It's his fault if she dies!"

"Edward just wants the best for Bella. According to him, becoming a vampire is not the best."

As Emmett's eyes softened, Jasper's emotional waves finally penetrated him. He looked at me remorseful eyes. "I'm sorry," he said at an almost inaudible tone.

"It's alright, just watch yourself next time. You should know not to get so out of hand."

Then, in the distance, I heard sirens. "Edward!" exclaimed Jasper. "It's Carlisle!"

Surely enough, the ambulance drove onto the beach and over to the four us. As the back door opened and a stretcher was wheeled out, Carlisle walked over to us.

"How is she?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Her pulse is fading out and she isn't breathing very well," I said with a struggle.

Jasper, sensing my anxiety, put his hand on my shoulder. "It'll be okay, Edward," he said. "She'll be fine."

Leaving my brothers behind, I walked into the ambulance alongside Bella. She looked so helpless just lying there unconscious. I grabbed her hand and repeated Jasper's word. "It'll be okay, Bella. You'll be fine."


	9. Misconceptions

JPOV

When I woke up two mornings after that wonderful night with Bella, I knew I had to talk to her soon. She wasn't home yesterday, she left a note saying she was at the Cullen's with Alice for the night. Poor Edward, she was in his house without being in love with him. Oh, wait, no, I don't care.

It all seemed so weird though; I had many thoughts going around at one time. First of all, Bella didn't call me yesterday. She had sex with me and doesn't call me in the next two days! Doesn't she at least want to talk to me? To hear my voice? I want to hear her voice. I love her so much.

Second of all, Alice would know about all this. She would know that Bella doesn't love Edward anymore, so why would she invite Bella to her house? Unless… maybe she _doesn't_ know! She can't see my future or any future involved with werewolves. And I'm a werewolf. But, Alice isn't stupid, I'll give her that. If Bella is over at her house, and Edward and her aren't speaking to each other, then Alice will know something happened. And if Bella's happy, then Alice will know that Bella doesn't love Edward anymore.

I decided that I would call her. Picking up the phone, I dialed her number. After three rings, Charlie picked up the phone.

"Hello?" he asked in a husky voice.

"Hey, Charlie!" I said in an ecstatic voice. "What's up?"

"Bella's not here," he said, seeing right through me.

"Is she still at Alice's?"

"Jake, she's in the hospital."

"What?" Oh, God. Was it the sex? No, I was not going to go there. Did I give her an STD? As deadly STD? Does Bella have AIDS?

"W-why?"

"You should know," he accused. Oh, shit! It was the sex! My hand dropped and so did my jaw. I was stunned. What can sex do to land a girl in the hospital? Wait, no, I didn't want to think about it. Shit, no, I'm thinking about it! Stop!

"Jacob?" he asked after a minute had gone by. "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, uh, I'm going to go see her," I stuttered. "I'm really sorry for whatever might have happened."

"Don't you know?" He sounded surprised.

My voice rose several octaves. "I think."

In the hospital, I couldn't stop thinking about what might have happened to Bella. I pushed the buttons on the elevator, but it wouldn't come fast enough. Finally, I decided to take the stairs.

When I knocked on the door to her room, it was not Carlisle who opened it. Instead, a different, shorter male doctor stood in the entryway.

"Hi," I said awkwardly. "Is Bella ok?"

"Well, her injuries aren't very severe. She might experience several dizzy spells in the next few days, but she should be able to go home tomorrow at the earliest."

I sighed in relief. "Thank God. So, she didn't get seriously hurt?"

"Well, what she suffered from is extremely intense. The pressure on her ears may have damaged her hearing, but other than that, she will be fine."

Her ears? What could I have done to her ears? I cleared my throat. "So, will she be able to, like, you know, do it again?"

"Well I hope she wouldn't!" He looked shocked. "At least, not for a while."

"Oh…," I said. "You're a Christian aren't you? And since she's not married…"

He raised his eyebrows at me and gave me a what-the-hell kind of out. "Get out!"

I quickly dashed out of the room.

While climbing into my car in the parking lot, I was sure I saw Edward enter the hosptial. I wondered what he would be doing here. I mean, he knows Bella doesn't love him anymore. She doesn't even like him. Is he really that desperate?

BPOV

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was the beautiful face of Edward. The sun coming in from the window to my left illuminated his face, causing it to sparkle.

"Hey," I breathed, still smiling.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed in relief and smiling back at me. "I thought I was going to lose you."

"I thought I lost you," I replied, quietly.

Edward, while stroking my hair, leaned into me and kissed my cheek, my lips, my forehead. A rapid beeping noise came from beside me; I turned to see that it came from the machine that determined my heart rate. He laughed.

"Careful or I'll have a heart attack," I croaked. I tried to laugh as I spoke but I was too weak to do much.

"Bella!" said a placid voice from the door. "I'm glad to see you're awake." Carlisle walked to the other side of my bed.

I smiled but did not reply; I was too tired.

"Let her sleep," said Edward.

Carlisle sighed and remained by my head for a moment, staring and Edward and I, then left the room.

Edward climbed onto the hospital bed and held me in his arms.

"Mmm…" I said.

"I missed you," he whispered. "I missed you a lot."

"I missed you too," I replied, and then fell into a deep, blissful sleep.

When I woke up, I felt more alert than before. As I moved into an upright position, I noticed that I was no longer connected to any tubes.

"Ah, Bella!" said Carlisle as he walked in the door. "You're awake."

I grinned. "Hey, Carlisle. How long was I out for?"

"About twenty, twenty-one hours," he chuckled.

I laughed. "I haven't slept that long since the last time I was in the hospital."

"And what a while ago that was," he said with a grin. I did seem to have a knack for landing myself in the hospital.

"Where's Edward?"

"He's out hunting, but he'll probably be back around noon."

"And right now it is…"

"Eleven."

One hour. I could wait that long.

"Bella!" screamed a voice from the door. Alice came running in with wide eyes and a huge grin. She dashed over to my side and gave me a huge hug. "I was so worried about you! I came earlier, but you were asleep. I can't stay long, I have to find Jasper, but I really did what to say hello."

"Hey, Alice. Thanks."

"My pleasure. God, Bella, we were so worried!"

"Well, I'm alive, that's a plus," I laughed. "Thanks, though," I added.

"Yeah, well, I really do have to go. Bye, Bella!" she said as she dashed out the door.

"Bye?" I said, awkwardly.

"So, Bella," said Carlisle, in a very business manlike way. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, really. When can I leave?"

"Well, you're good to go right now. You seem to feel perfectly fine. Stand up for me, though, just to make sure. Walk around a little," he added as I made to get out of bed.

I stood up and walked around the bed. "I feel fine. I'm not dizzy."

"Then I think you're ready to go. Oh, Charlie stopped in while you were gone."

Holy crow, Charlie! I had forgotten all about him. "What did he say?" I asked in a panic voice.

"I told him you were cliff jumping with Jacob and your leg somehow tangled itself in the seaweed."

"What about the car? Charlie's going to notice when I no longer have my Mercedes."

"I told him that Jacob totaled it," laughed a voice from the door. Edward walked into the room with his liquid topaz eyes maliciously grinning in the florescent hospital light.

"You're back early," said Carlisle.

"Edward, you didn't!" I exclaimed. "What did he say?"

"He said he didn't know Jacob was back. When I told him he was, he just shook his head. I don't think it's troubling him at all. He likes Jacob."

I rolled my eyes.

"Speaking of Jacob," interrupted Charlie, "He came by today. Too see you."

I gulped. Hoping he suspected nothing, I managed to say, "That was nice of him. Did you too talk much?"

"No, I was hunting at the time.

"Bella," Charlie said. "You're papers are in order and you're clear to leave. I hope I'll see you soon."

"Hopefully not back on stretcher again though," I laughed.

Edward grabbed my hand helped me stand up and put his arm around me. Bidding Carlisle goodbye, we headed out the door and down the hall. "I'm sorry," he said, his hand still in mine.

"For what?" I asked.

"For everything. This is all my fault."

I starred at him and stopped walking. "Don't you ever say that again. This is as far from your fault as possible, Edward. Please don't think otherwise."

Drawing me closer, he smiled and softly kissed my lips. "I won't, my love. I promise."


	10. A Mixed Bag

There was no sun as Edward escorted me out of the hospital. Instead, there was a warm, happy blanket of white and fluffy clouds covering the sky. I smiled as he opened the passenger door of his shiny, silver Volvo and offered me the familiar passenger seat. As he sat down next to me, he turned the key in the ignition with one hand and placed his other on my wrist.

"Where are we going?" I asked, breaking the five minutes of silence.

"First, we're stopping by your house," he said.

"And then?" I asked with curiosity. But he just smiled, answerless.

Because I lived so close to town, I arrived home ten minutes later. I kissed Edward good-bye and headed onto the porch and into my front room. "Charlie!" I called as I walked in the door.

"Bella!" he shouted from upstairs. He ran down into the front room and wrapped his arms around me. "I didn't hear you come in, Bella! I was so worried about you." He kissed my cheek and, as he pulled his face away, I noticed a tear roll down his cheek.

"Charlie," I breathed in with amazement. "You're- you're crying."

"I know, Bella," he said. "I know."

For a while, we just stood there in each other's arms, resting our heads on each other's shoulders. We were silent, but it wasn't awkward. That's the good thing about Charlie and I, we can sit in silence for ages and feel just fine.

"Ugh, dad," I said. "I have to take a shower now."

He sighed. "Alright, Bells. I'll be downstairs if you need me."

The water felt indescribably wonderful as it ran down my face, my back, my stomach, and my legs. I squirted the shampoo into my dry hands and ran them through my wet hair. As I lathered the shampoo, I closed my eyes so they would not sting. I wondered where Edward was going to take me. To his house? No, too obvious. To his room? Holy crow!

After I was dressed in a casual shirt and sweatpants, I picked up my phone and called Edward.

"You ready, love?" was his greeting.

My heart melted when he said "love." "Yeah, come on over."

"I'll be right there, Bella."

Two minutes later he knocked on my door.

"Bella!" shouted Charlie. "It's Edward."

I ran downstairs to greet him. "Hello, Edward. Charlie, we'll be back by…" I didn't know when we'd be back.

"By dinner," Edward finished for me.

I waved goodbye to Charlie and followed Edward out my door. "Where are we going?"I asked once the door shut.

"Climb onto my back," he commanded with smile. Having an idea what was coming, I climbed onto his stony structure and prepared for the rush. "Close your eyes," he advised before dashing off into the forest.

I opened my eyes but immediately became dizzy on the account of the speed Edward was running. I shut them and let my head rest on his neck and shoulder. Although he was cold and as hard as a rock, he was absolutely wonderful to rest on.

Suddenly, we stopped. "Don't open your eyes yet," he said softly. I felt myself being gently placed onto a bed of grass. I heard Edward walk to my right, then back. "Open your eyes," he said.

There, down on one knee in the rare sunlight and twinkling like a star kneeled Edward. In his hand was a black, velvet box with a lavender cushion inside. On the cushion was a sparkling ring; the stone on it was a diamond heart. "Bella?" he started. "I've asked you this before, but because of the recent events, I felt I should ask you again."

I propped myself up onto my elbows and took a deep breath, preparing myself for his words.

"Bella? Will you marry me?"

I smiled. "Yes, Edward! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!"

He took my left hand and slipped the ring onto my index finger. My heart pounded as I felt my finger slip through the cold silver circle and smiled again.

Edward then pulled me up onto his lap and kissed my lips. When he drew his head back, I flashed him a half-smile. "Don't stop there," I breathed, attempting to sound seductive.

"Where should I stop then?" he asked in the same tone.

"Just don't stop at all." With my words, he put his hand in my hair and kissed me. I kissed him back fiercer, and we fell back. Somewhere in the mess, I pulled off his shirt and felt his cool chest against my warm one. However, when I tugged at his pants, he froze.

"Bella, love, no," he said calmly but firmly.

"Please, Edward? We're getting married soon, why not?"

Why don't we wait until after the marriage? That's normally the custom."

"The Christian custom," I corrected him. "I'm not Christian."

"Still, it's normal to wait." He could be so obstinate sometimes.

"Edward," I said firmly. "I was in love with a werewolf and now I'm going to happily married to a vampire. I really don't believe 'normal' is my style!"

He laughed, but seemed hesitant. Finally, after a moment of contemplation, he smiled. "I really shouldn't," he said as he took off his pants.

I grinned. "I thought so," I smirked and proceeded to kiss Edward while undressing. The way his hands felt as they ran through my hair and on my back felt so natural, like we were meant to be.

"Bella!" shouted an unfortunately familiar voice. "What are you doing?"

I looked up to Jacob, wearing only his shorts again, standing in the clearing just feet away from us. "Jake," I breathed as my eyes grew wide. "I- I"

"Never mind!" he spat. "I should have known you'd do this!" With that, he turned around and phased into his wolf form. Then, he ran faster than I had ever seen his run, leaving his ripped shorts in the clearing.

"I knew this was a bad idea," he moaned. "I mean, I really don't care about the mutt. But you do. Obviously."

"Not like that, not anymore, but I don't want him to hate me!"

"Bella, he'll come through. I know he will."

I sighed. "Can you take me home?"

He scooped me up into his arms and sped me to my house. In minutes, we arrived.

"I hope you had a good time," he said as h put me down. "Even with Jacob showing up."

"Edward, I was with you; of course I had a good time." I smiled and kissed his lips. "But I really should go."

"I'll see you soon," he said.

"Bye." I walked inside and ran up to my room.

"Bella?" called Charlie. "I made dinner! I think it's going to good this-"

"I'm not hungry!" I called from upstairs. I shut my door and flung myself onto my bed where I cried until I fell into a peaceful sleep.


	11. Breaking Free

Jacob was running. He was a wolf and he was running. He did not plan to stop, just to run. He could not think; he did not want to think. He only wanted his instincts to take over and lead him where they chose. And that could be anywhere.

Jacob did not know where he was going. He was not looking at his path; his eyes were not even open. They had to stay shut. If he opened his eyes even a little, they would become the source of a cascading waterfall of sorrow. Jacob did not like to cry. Crying made him feel weak and vulnerable. Thus, he kept his eyes shut.

The first semi human emotion that I encountered was pain. Misery. Agony. At first, it was small, like a being stabbed with a needle. But needles grew to kitchen knives and the pain got worse and eventually my head hurt. I wanted aspirin like hell. But I kept running.

Because if I stopped and fell, I knew I wouldn't be able to get back up.

After running for God knows how long or how far, I collapsed from exhaustion. I couldn't help it anymore; I began to cry. How could Bella do this to me? How could she make me feel so great, so superlatively wonderful, and then leave me for a leech? He's a goddamn vampire! How is a vampire, a cold skinned, arrogant, blood-sucking vampire better than me! At least I won't eat her.

For awhile, I lay on the moss and ivy covered ground and cried. Eventually, my eyes dried themselves and I stayed still, hardly breathing and pretending I was dead. Wishing I was dead. If I were dead, who would care? Quil. Embry. Seth? Sam? Paul? All my brothers. But not Bella. Bella wouldn't care. She has Edward. Edward. The vampire. The one who is apparently better looking than me.

You know, I really don't see the appeal in that boy. He looks like a monster. He is a monster. His eyes change color when he's hungry. That's weird. His skin is as white as snow. He could be Snow White's male twin. Who could love Snow White's male twin?

My chest felt heavy, almost too heavy to allow me to fall asleep. But running wears me out, so I fell asleep within minutes.

I woke up to the sound of Paul's shouts. "Jake!" he barked angrily. "Jacob Black! Where the hell are you?"

I opened my eyes to a kelly-green canopy of leaves supported my varying colors and sizes of tree trunks. The sun shone through the leaves, enhancing their color. I breathed in the earthy smell of the moss I slept on and let out a doglike sigh.

"Jake!" yelled Paul again.

I stood up onto my four paws and sniffed around the ferns and ivy for the scent of food. I was hungry. No, more like ravenous. But, I smelled nothing new. I lifted my head up and observed my surroundings. Mostly, I just saw trees. There was a rock about four feet tall in the distance, but that was it. I walked over to the boulder and sniffed it. I perked my head up, hearing the faint sound of running water. I trotted towards the mysterious water source to find a stream about a yard wide flowing down a rocky slope. I dipped my mouth into it and took a gulp. The water felt good as it trickled down my thirsty throat and I quickly took several more gulps.

"Jacob Black," began Paul again. "I know you're there."

"Jacob," commanded Sam. "I know you're upset, but you can't keep running away from your problems."

"Maybe, if you come back, you can forget about Bella," Jared interjected.

Bella. Bella. He said Bella. Bella.

"Maybe you'll fall in love with someone else," he continued.

Love. He said love.

Bella.

I could feel my face grow red with anger.

"Jake?" asked Sam tenderly. "Jake, you always knew Bella wasn't right for you. You always knew-"

"Just fuck off and shut up!" I shouted silently. I could almost see Sam opening his mouth to protest and then closing it in shock. "I quit you're pack, Sam! I quit! I don't to be a part of it anymore. I'm sick of you guys always talking to me when I just want to be left alone, Sam. I'm sick of rules and orders! I don't want to be part of a pack! I'm- I'm starting over!"

"What?" growled an angry Paul.

"I'm not coming back! Nothing you can say will ever make me change my mind. I'm sick of being heartbroken and watching what I love float by me without a passing glance! So I'm leaving."

"From what I heard she gave you a hell of a lot more than 'just a passing glance," laughed Paul.

"Paul!" scolded Sam.

Paul cleared his throat and moved on. "Uh, Jake," he whined. "You can't go."

"Yes, I can!" Why couldn't they realize that I wasn't going to relent.

"Jacob, be reasonable," growled Sam. "You can't leave."

"Says who?" I asked testily.

"Says me. Says Paul. Says the rest of our pack."

"What 'our'? Didn't you hear me? I QUIT!"

Silence. They stopped talking. "Paul?" I called. "Sam? Jared? Anybody?"

No answer. I was free! I barked in happiness. I felt so light, so elated! I leaped for joy and set off running again, this time in search of a town. I had no idea of where I was going, but I had a vague plan of what I wanted to do once I got there.

As I ran along the stream, it widened and the pace of the water quickened. I wondered what it would become. The Puget Sound? The Pacific Ocean?

At last, I came to a waterfall. The cold spray of the fresh river water misted my furry face. I leaped from rock to rock until I found a way down.

Firstly, I would get a job doing something I enjoyed. Maybe I'd work in an auto shop or something like that. The last thing I'd want to do is have a job I would hate. That would destroy all motivation in my life, and motivation is something I need.

Secondly, I would buy an apartment. Something not too big or expensive, but definitely not something tiny. Maybe something with a nice view of a park.

And thirdly, I would forget. I would create a past in which there was no Bella, no Edward, and no werewolves. I would change my name to something completely nondescript, like John Smith or . I would become a new person. My heart will heal. No, it won't. Because there won't have been a wound in the first place.


End file.
